The Flower Garden ~ Chapter 08

When Fili and Bilbo stepped back inside they received some questioning looks and raised eyebrows. Fili raised an eyebrow in return, challenging anyone in their company to make a remark.

“Fee!” Kili yelled from his seat next to Ori. He had a tankard of ale raised and a wide grin on his face. “I saved ya a drink!”

Fili grinned and jovially slapped Bilbo on the back. “You enjoy yourself a few drinks as well, master Baggins. Mahal knows you deserve it.” He smirked and with that said he was off to join his brother.

He pushed himself in the small open spot between Kili and Ori, whom both wriggled aside a bit to give him more space. He took the ale from Kili with a grin and drowned a big gulp, some of the liquid dripping down his chin as he did so. “Aah, that’s good!”

He lifted his tankard again, about to take another gulp when Kili’s elbow jabbed in his side. He glanced at his brother and made a questioning noise. He then took another gulp of his beer before putting it down to the table and fully looking at Kili.

Kili glanced at Bilbo and then back at Fili, leaning closer to his brother. “What’s up?” His voice was soft, a mere whisper meant only for Fili’s ears and filled with curiosity.

Fili shrugged. “Nothing that isn’t solved now.”

Kili frowned and nudged his brother in the side again. “Fee...” He whined softly, wanting answers.

“Later,” Fili said, his tone ending the conversation for now. Even though he might not have done something wrong, it was best to have this conversation without the entire company present.

Kili sighed dramatically loud. “All right.” He drawled and leaned back, continuing drinking and picking up conversation easily again as if nothing had happened.

Fili shook his head and tipped his drink back again. As he drank, he allowed his eyes to travel to Bilbo.

Bilbo was drinking ale from a mug much smaller than everyone else’s and talking to Bofur with a soft smile on his lips.

Lips which he’d almost kissed just a few minutes ago.

He so didn’t flush at that thought.

But it had been strange. The urge to just lean forward and kiss Bilbo. The hobbit wasn’t the usual type that he had felt attracted to up until now. So far, they had all been strong and fierce. Admittedly, there weren’t many he’d felt attracted to but none of them had been even remotely like Bilbo.

So while it excited him to like Bilbo because it was something new it was also the reason why it confused him. He was a dwarf and moreover, he was the heir of the throne of Erebor. He wasn’t supposed and expected to like soft, insecure and cute.

But, he thought when he watched a smile cross Bilbo’s face, he was unbound and this was a long journey. He could have his fun for however long it would last.



Later, as it turned out, wasn’t all that much later per say.

Because it only took roughly half an hour for Kili’s curiosity to get the best of him.

He put down his ale and stood up. Then he took Fili’s mug, put it down and all but dragged him away from the table towards the front door. He waved all the curious glances and raised eyebrows away with: “We’re gonna check on the ponies.”

Fili just shook his head. This certainly wasn’t one of his brother’s most subtle actions. Although he couldn’t blame Kili. Subtleness just didn’t run in the family.



Kili did at least wait with asking questions until they were inside the barn.

He let go of Fili’s hand and turned to his brother with an excited and curious expression. “So?”

Fili rolled his eyes and smirked. “So what?” He teased.

Kili punched Fili in the arm. “Come on, Fee.”

“Okay, okay.” Fili chuckled. Then he turned his head to quickly check if no-one was coming over to check on them.

Kili huffed. “It can’t be that bad.”

Fili turned back to his brother and shrugged. “Maybe not, but I don’t want everyone to know that an hour ago our burglar was going to go home.”

Kili didn’t react for a few moments. Then he frowned. “What? Master Boggins is going home?”

Fili huffed. “Not anymore.”

Kili’s eyes narrowed. “What happened.” He asked and then quickly added: “What did you do?”

Fili shrugged. “Master Baggins just wanted to go home. For several reasons. So he needed some convincing to come along.”

At this Kili smirked cockily. “Like you?”

Fili shook his head with a sigh. It was so like Kili to bring this up now. “No.” He replied, voice tight and lips in a thin line. “Not like me.”

“How?” Kili frowned. “You didn’t want to go either.”

Fili bit his lip, reminding himself that Kili wasn’t taunting him but was merely curious. “Because Bil- master Baggins actually wanted to go. He had just come up with too many reasons why he couldn’t go.”

A look of realization flickered over Kili’s face and he smirked, amusement clear in his eyes. “And so you gave him some convincing reasons to come in the best interest of the quest?”

Fili’s lips quirked up in a grin. “Of course.”

Kili laughed and shook his head. Then a somewhat lewd grin split his face. “So I can assume you’re spending the night in the hobbit’s room, brother?”

Fili snorted. “Of course not.” He shook his head with a laugh. “I’m not that bad. I have all the way to Erebor to get myself in his bed.”

Kili tilted his head slightly, his grin morphing into a knowing smile. “So that’s how it is.”

Fili didn’t reply.

---

That night Fili lay awake.

He thought of his mother and how she had told Kili and him that this wasn’t their fight. That they were too young and inexperienced to go. That for Thorin to reclaim the mountain he needed warriors, not kids – even though they weren’t really children anymore.

He had agreed with her, he still did. But he had never stood a chance when Kili started begging and his little brother had played him well indeed.

But he just couldn’t help but feel guilty. For he’d seen the fear in his mother’s eyes when she’d told them that since she didn’t go, they couldn’t either. The betrayal in her posture when she had raged at Thorin when he’d allowed them to go. But worst of all was the heart-break and grief in her eyes when she’d pressed them close to her chest – Kili first – and touched her forehead with theirs in goodbye.

But what hurt Fili most was that in those last moments of goodbye, he had lied to his mother. Because she’d asked him to keep Kili safe and he’d sworn he would.

But he couldn’t. He knew that for he, too, was inexperienced and even more scared of what was to come than his brother.

It hurt and even though he hadn’t made any promises to keep Bilbo safe he knew he would try. He was the one that had convinced Bilbo to go so he was the one that should at least try to get the hobbit home alive rather than having to bury him under a bed of flowers. The problem was though, that just like with his brother he had the feeling that ‘trying’ wouldn’t be nearly enough.

---

It was early when Fili woke up.

In fact, it was so early the sun still hadn’t risen completely.

Considering it had taken him quite a few hours to actually fall asleep, he was in a bad mood. A very bad mood, he decided as he stomped his way down the stairs to the common room.

At least Kili was still asleep which Fili considered a small blessing. He was quite certain he wasn’t able to put up with his brother right now.

But when he rounded a corner and walked into the common room, he froze.

It seemed he wasn’t alone and even though the other had his back turned to him there was absolutely no mistaking about who it was.

Oh how he wished for the company for his brother now, for even Kili was easier to deal with this early in the morning than his uncle.



Before Fili got a chance to move – turn around, flee upstairs – Thorin turned and looked over his shoulder.

Thorin’s eyes lit up just the tiniest bit at seeing his nephew, although his expression stayed the same and his voice was as gruff as ever when he said: “Fili, good morning.”

Fili nodded. “Good morning uncle.”

Thorin nodded and turned back to the table. He patted the back of the chair next to his. “Why don’t you join me for breakfast.”

Fili nodded and walked to the table. Breakfast was good. Sitting next to his uncle munching on some delicious sausages or pancakes – preferably both – in silence was a good way to start the morning.

He sat down and noticed that the entire table was already prepared for them. A stack of plats, a heap of cutlery and some mugs. There were also bowls of food – eggs, sausages and, to Fili’s happiness, pancakes – and a few mugs of ale. It seemed a suspicious lot like it had been thrown together quickly and the designated cook had fled – most likely back to bed.

Whatever the case, when Fili started heaping food onto a plate and Thorin handed him a drink everything seemed to be a lot better.

Fili was munching on some pancakes – having already devoured his sausages – when suddenly Thorin asked: “The hobbit, what did he need last night?”

Fili was slightly startled by the question. He’d seen his uncle look at both Bilbo and himself last night with suspicion in his eyes, though, so he berated himself for being caught off guard. Besides, he knew his uncle and in his own way Thorin was just making sure that everything was fine.

“Nothing,” Fili shook his head and stuffed another bite of pancake into his mouth. He shrugged and – mouth still full with food – said: “He just got a bit upset.”

Thorin made a dismissive sound and shook his head before looking at Fili. “He does not understand us, does not belong with us and will most likely regret coming along the first night spent sleeping on the cold ground.” Thorin said, his words cold and unforgiving. “He will wish to go home a few days from now.” As he finished, Thorin’s voice was low and stern, like he was warning Fili.

Fili caught the warning. He knew what his uncle was saying.

Don’t get close.

Fili hummed in reply, nodding his head and then continuing with his breakfast.

Thorin grunted and turned back to his drink and with that, the conversation was over.

Thorin had said what he’d wanted to and Fili was allowed to do as he wanted.

For now.